Self-Compassion

With the start of the new year, many people find themselves already “worn out”. We’re constantly bombarded with advice about productivity and goals: how many goals to have, which ones to pursue, how do our goals compare to others, what tools to use and how to complete more resolutions at the same exact time. It’s this mindset that the more we have on our plate, the more we do, and the better we are as people. And it never stops. Just when we think we’ve decided we keep adding, changing directions and spinning in circles. You don’t feel balanced and in control but fragmented and anxious.

Don’t get me wrong I’m all for goals and in fact in the past I was one to believe that every single goal had to be a “stretch” goal – which is purposefully ambitious, challenging and forces me outside of my comfort zone to be worthy of my time and as a measurement of impact. 

This year I’m personally playing with a new idea: more is not necessarily better. And as I start this journey I invite you to try it with me.

It starts by deciding on a word or sentence that will turn into your theme of how you want to feel based on what you need. Once you have the theme it will help you make decisions going forward and as a way to measure them.

For example, right now I’m personally working with the theme of recovery. Recovery in mind, body and spirit. It’s really important that I take the time for more self-compassion when I make decisions, have conversations, approach projects, eat, move, and reflect with recovery in mind. I try to stop and think will the choice serve recovery or agitate and throw me off? When I’m confronted by a situation that is irritating me am I going to come in with force and aggression or remember I am working on recovery so it’s important I approach it differently.

For the same situation if I come in with aggression and anger my cortisol levels and inflammation rise. I’ve taken the issue or conversation and possibly escalated it, was out of “control” in my decision making or words and probably did not make the correct decision for me and anyone else involved.

When I stop and think on my theme of recovery, it acts as an interesting accountability “buddy”. One who reminds me about what I said I needed and challenges me to think how else could I work through this. It’s trying to provide the insight and a different perspective based on what I really want - recovery, self-compassion, peace of mind, grace and more kindness towards myself.

Its not meant to be a perfect practice and in fact the only way to gauge the benefits is by trying and being okay with the fact that changes won’t happen overnight. There will be the drive and internal voices that try to take over and lead you to self-sabotage if things seem to “slow” or mundane. The voice that says “forget recovery, let’s go out and try to do five major projects at the same time.”

Cultivating and working with a theme is one key to help you navigate and tap into your inner compass towards ultimate self-care and health. If you’re interested in discovering your own personal theme based on more self-compassion, please download, print and fill out the following worksheet as an exercise for yourself: